Thursday, January 25, 2007

American Innovation

American innovation is admired all over the world, and this time they have really surpassed themselves.

News reached me today regarding Under-Ease anti-flatulence underpants. This essential item of clothing does not prevent flatulence, but permits the gas to be expelled through a small filter which counters the malodourous effects of the initial flatus.

Now I'm sure there are some perfectly understandable and serious medicinal uses for the pants, but they are potentially priceless in countless social situations too. Romantic first dates immediately sprang to mind obviously, as did business lunches and long plane journeys. The wife's Valentine's Day present is sorted out now too.

No more awkward trips to the toilet, or constant anxiety about possibly laughing and inadvertently relaxing a key abdominal muscle. Just sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge you are wearing protection.

First Microsoft, then Google, and now there anything to stop the amazing entrepreneurial dynamism of the US economy?


At 11:15 AM, Anonymous The Red Darren said...

Hi NY Addick – This is bad news!! my dreams of making a million gone up with a puff.
I had intended to make my fortune with a similar contraption; namely a fart accelerator. This unobtrusive device would fit snugly into any pair of trousers – it would capture any offending escape of gas as it occurred, store it, and then accelerate fast and noiselessly to a different part of the room some distance from the perpetrator, hence laying the blame for the offence with an unsuspecting and totally innocent party.
Hadn’t quite worked out the mechanics of the device, but in the light the information in your article, it seems like my plans have been blown off course.

At 1:00 PM, Blogger Pedro45 said...

I love the old Dave Allen story that it is a medical fact that we all fart on average once every 30 minutes or so. When you think that a transatlantic flight (of which NYA must have taken a few) takes about seven hours, and that there are about two - three hundred people on board, all farting on average every 30 minutes, that's a hell of a lot of smelly air on one plane with nowhere to go!

At 2:28 PM, Anonymous newyorkaddick said...

Why do you think the guys that open the aeroplane doors at the other end are wearing fluorescent jackets?

At 8:04 PM, Anonymous aitchy said...

You've reached my level.At least I understood this article - which is more than can be said about the previous day's blog on transfer pricing!

At 9:33 PM, Blogger Ken J said...

Now, if only there was a pair that prevented 'following through'....

At 12:52 AM, Anonymous newyorkaddick said...

Ken, have you tried Huggies?


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