Learn to Speak Charltonish

With globalisation seemingly an unstoppable force, it is increasingly important to learn a second language. Although French, German and Spanish are most commonly taught in the UK, a number of schools are beginning to offer 'Charltonish' and 'Charltonish for Business', particularly those in South-East London where the dialect is virtually interchangeable with English. Although it is a difficult language to master, the knowledge of some key words and phrases will help you to be understood.

Curbishley, verb (kurbishlee): to go on too long; eg. "I enjoyed the film, but I felt it had curbishleyed by the end."

Lisbie, verb (lizbee): to believe in, despite evidence to the contrary; eg. "My kids still lisbie Father Christmas despite seeing me leaving their presents out."

Rommedahl, adjective (romerdahl): fast, but otherwise useless; eg. "The new Mazda coupe is a pleasure to drive, but it'll be rommedahl for anyone with a family or for shopping trips."

Kishishev, verb (kishishev): to be misunderstood and/or underappreciated; eg. "I feel like I'm kishisheved at work - I had a great year but was overlooked for promotion."

Dowie, verb, noun (douee): to return home via a convoluted route; a long journey home eg. "I had such a dowie last night - I fell asleep on the N89, woke up in Erith and had to walk an hour back to Welling."

Jordan, adjective (jawduhn): resentful, bitter (usually about losing something); eg. "I'm not jordan about the fact that she's left me, I'm jordan about the fact that she kept the house."

Jeffers, noun (jeferz): excessive or unnecessary expenditure or outlay of money (which ultimately disappoints); eg. "My new BMW needs repairing again - it's been a complete jeffers ever since I bought it."

Karkouri, verb (kahkawree): to exhibit rare but damaging bouts of madness; eg. "We've had to put the dog down - he's usually so docile but he karkouried and attacked the neighbour's toddler."

Murphy, verb (murfee): to misjudge and overestimate an alternative; eg. "Don't risk ruining your marriage by murphying this bird at work."

Mervynday, adjective (murvindey): lacking obvious meaning, ineffectual; eg. "This button on the TV remote control seems to be mervynday."

Euell, verb (yoouhl): to sell something for considerably less than you paid for it; eg. "I think we're going to have to euell the house despite being in negative equity."