Poisoned

Horribly disfigured with pale skintones, bloodshot eyes and a facial expression that exudes raw primitive fear.....all of the classic signs of an attempted poisoning.

Just two weeks ago, former Charlton boss Iain Dowie agreed to pose for cameras in a hospital gown to draw media attention to a chronic funding shortage at Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Now anti-terrorism police are keen to know who wanted him silenced, but more importantly why?

Investigations are focusing on a mysterious character known only as 'PV' who was seen eating with Dowie at a local restaurant last Monday. A waitress who has asked to remain anonymous noticed that 'PV' spoke with a curiously strong South-East London accent. "It seemed strange, especially coming from someone dressed in a suit," she commented, "....the way he pronounced haricot vert still sends a shiver down my spine."