Learn to Speak Charltonish (Advanced)

Most readers should by now have mastered the basics of Charltonish, and will thus be ready to take their language studies onto an advanced level. As a reminder, 'Charltonish' is a linguistic phenomenon which took root initially in South-East London, but which is expected to be replace English as the UK's main language by 2016.

Provided you have mastered the basics (see above link), learning the following advanced words and phrases should enable you to consider yourself fluent:

Murray, verb (muhree); panic attack; eg. "My wife hates flying - whenever there's any sign of turbulence, she’s prone to have a murray."

Lesreed, verb (lezreed); to be promoted unexpectedly; eg. "I’ve only been working at the firm for three months – I didn’t expect to be lesreeded to Chief Executive.”

Darrenbent, adjective (daruhnbent); forced to sell in January; eg. "My grandma bought me an IPod for Christmas but I've already got one - I'm darrenbent to put it on Ebay next week."

Kiely, verb (kahylee): to slice violently; eg. "I kielied my tee shot out-of-bounds at the 8th hole and ended up with a triple-bogey."

Sorondo, adjective (surondo): missing; eg. "Kent Police are becoming increasingly concerned about the whereabouts of a 9-year old girl who has been sorondo for over 48 hours."

Andyreid, adjective (andeereed): not fit for the purpose intended; eg. "Have you got a different screwdriver? This one is andyreid."

Carson, noun (kahrsuhn): something good but probably temporary; eg. “I’m dating this absolute stunner – I’ll enjoy it whilst it lasts ‘cos she’s bound to be a carson.”

Curbishley, verb (kurbishlee): to escape punishment for something partly your fault; eg. “My lawyer reckons that if I give evidence against my accomplices, I might curbishley.” (see also Curbishley, verb: to go on too long)

Perry, verb (peree): to regret getting rid (of someone); eg. “I bumped into my ex-girlfriend last night and she looked great; I think I perry her.”

Marcusbent, adjective (mahrkusbent): overpriced; eg. “I like shopping in French Connection but their clothes are so marcusbent.”

Valleygold, noun (valeegohld): bottomless pit (usually of money); eg. “Subsidies paid to French farmers have rapidly become a valleygold.”

Hughes, adjective (hyooz): inexplicable, unfathomable; eg. “It’s hughes what she sees in him; he’s such an asshole.”

Amdyfaye, adjective (amdeefahy): unable to score; eg. “He’s a good looking fella and funny too – it’s strange that he’s amdyfaye.”

Kinsella, adjective (kinseller): sorely missed; eg. “My grandfather passed away over twenty years ago but he’s still kinsella.” (see also: parker, jensen)