MIDFIELDER APPEAL
17,000 FANS DEPRIVED OF ENTERTAINMENT....
A GAPING HOLE IN THE CENTRE CIRCLE....
LOCAL DERBIES VERSUS MILLWALL....
Sounds terrible doesn't it? But it's happening closer to home than you might think...
...strikers are being STARVED of goalscoring chances RIGHT NOW and DESPERATELY NEED YOUR HELP!!
THE R.S.P.C.A. (Royal Society for Promotion of Charlton Athletic) ANNOUNCES THE LAUNCH OF ITS....
**CENTRAL MIDFIELDER APPEAL**
"SUPPORTER": £10 - funds a midfielder's 'hangover kit' comprising headache tablets, bottled water, a bacon sarnie and mints (ideal for matchdays)...
"FOUNDER": £100 - funds a midfielder's football boots....
"PATRON": £1,000 - funds a midfielder's monthly lease payments on a brand new Porsche Cayenne....
"PRESIDENT: £10,000 - funds a midfielder's legal costs if accused of attempted rape....
"LIFE PRESIDENT": £100,000 - funds the repurchase of Danny Murphy from Spurs....
Strikers are quite literally DYING of boredom. Please give as generously as you can.
Starting to think we should never have let Kish go our midfield is that delicate. Maybe we should set up-buy a match day programme 50% goes towards the fund for a Kinsella clone.
Its six weeks till the end of the transfer window and three till the season starts, lets not panic yet. There is still a few comings and goings to happen yet.
Should have kept Keith 'the crab' Jones - would have been perfect for this division.
Breaking news
Denise Rommendhalia has gone to Ajax. He went for a paltry £680k in todays over-inflated transfer market. He is the only CAFC player I would have happily strangled at birth.
Luke Young also on his way to Middlesborough- he grew into a fine player - but we have 2 able replacements-so good luck
David Whyte-Whyte-Whyte
...please where can I buy a unicorn?
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I don't like the sound of all those lists he's making - it's like taking too many notes at school; you sense you've achieved something when you haven't.
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