TGI Friday's - the truth
It's time for the truth to come out regarding the recent Daily Mirror exclusive that skipper Luke Young had organised an outing at TGI Friday's, but only three other players turned up.
Drawing upon a combination of CCTV pictures, eyewitness accounts and unidentified sources, New York Addick is pleased to report upon the truth behind what has variously been termed 'Friday-gate'.
Sunday 31 Sep, 10.30am
Luke Young sends out a group text message to all squad members:
"TGIF - c u @8.30 - 2-4-1 all nite - large"
Sunday 31 Sep, 8.25pm
Young arrives five minutes early and waits for teammates to arrive. He finds a large quiet table, puts down his mobile phone, and orders a Budweiser.
Sunday 31 Sep, 8.37pm
Kevin Lisbie arrives next but doesn't spot Young at the corner table:
Young: "Oi, Super Kev.....over 'ere son.....Lizzo.....Lizzo.....The Kevster.....I'm over 'ere son....."
Lisbie: "Sorry skipper didn't see you there. Just had a call from Marcus B - he can't come unfortunately, he's washing his hair tonight."
Young: "He doesn't have any hair."
Lisbie: "That's what I thought."
Andy Reid arrives next, eating a burger.
Young: "Reidy.....Randy Andy....over 'ere son.....Oi, Sumo......The Reidster.....we're over 'ere you fat piece of lard."
Reid: "Blimey, I'm starving - show us the menu."
Waitress: "Hey guys, my name's BobbySue and I'm your server this evening."
Reid: "My name's Andy, and I'm your customer this evening."
Waitress: "You guys are funny, lads night out is it?"
Reid: "Team bonding actually, we're footballers."
Waitress: "You could have fooled me, I saw your game the other night."
Reid: "Cheeky cow. I'll have the 'overloaded potato skins' please."
Waitress: "They're actually merely 'loaded' sir."
Reid: "I'll say it again. I'll have the 'overloaded potato skins'"
Waitress: "I'll see what chef can do."
Jon Fortune walks in.
Young: "Oi, Johnny-boy.......the Fortune-teller.....we're over 'ere sunshine....."
Fortune: "Sorry I'm late lads, I've just been to an all-day dance party."
Young: "Fortune favours the rave."
Fortune: "You what?"
Young: "Have you seen our waitress Jon? As a defender, I bet you wouldn't mind getting nice and tight to her, eh? Eh? Eh? Know what I mean?"
Fortune: "Not really, no."
Young's mobile rings.....
Young: "JFH!.....the Floydster!.....He's no Hassle, He's Hasselbaink!.....Jimmy-boy....how are you son?"
Young: "Sorry, didn't mean to show you a lack of respect. No of course I haven't achieved a fraction of what you've achieved in the game, no......So I guess you're not coming then?"
Young's mobile rings....
Young: "TEK!.....Talal Meat!.....are you on your way son, or did your blow yourself up instead?"
(El Karkouri hangs up)
The waitress returns....
Waitress: "You'll never believe it. One of our barmen is a Charlton fan and he wants to buy one of you a special drink."
Young: "Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo....I'm lovin' it"
Waitress: "For Kevin Lisbie, he's suggested a wee Macallan 10-year because you've been around for such a long time but we've still not seen the best of you."
Fortune: "Oi Kev, how come you're not playing for Gillingham yet?"
(players collapse laughing.....Lisbie falls off his chair and dislocates his shoulder.)
Young's mobile rings....
Young: "Dennis the Menace!.....it's the Rommster!.....get over here quick son, not that you know any other way" (cracks up laughing)
Young: "Broken fingernail? Sounds nasty, no worries."
Iain Dowie walks in....
Young: "Hello Mr Dowie."
Dowie: "What the hell do you think you're doing? Have you seen the Premiership table? Get your arses back home before I stick the lot of you on the transfer list.
Fortune/Lisbie/Reid/Young: "Sorry, boss."
Dowie: "And what the f*ck have you done to Super Kev?"
Young: "He fell off his stool laughing boss."
Dowie: "That's all I f*cking need. Listen, it was a 'freak training accident', ok?"