Killer's World

With no Charlton match this weekend, we would ordinarily be forced to do without the speculative wisdom of Derek 'Killer' Hales (KillerWatch© -£701). However I have used this FA Cup-induced break to widen Killer's scope from matters solely of concern in South-East London to those of a more global nature.

I caught up with Killer to ask him for his current views on the key issues affecting the world today:

IRAN

"That Ahmadinejad is in a terrific vein of form isn't he? He has realised that defence is the best form of attack, and like all successful teams, he's determined to have a really destructive weapon. The upcoming local derby with Israel has all the makings of a real ding-dong battle. Having reviewed the form, I think that a Shia/Sunni civil war which spills over into most of the Middle East, draws in the USA and leads ultimately to an all-out nuclear war that destroys the entire world, and every living thing on it could be a spot of value at 13/2."

THE ENVIRONMENT

"Is it just me, or is it getting warmer these days? It wasn't like this twenty-odd years ago - I remember playing at Maidstone in January 1979 and I was freezing my nuts off. Luckily I was given an early bath that day, though I seem to recall Mike 'Flash' Flanagan refused to share it with me. Anyhow, I saw this documentary that said if we don't start conserving energy the seas will rise and flood the whole of Southern England which I'd nibble at if there was any 12/1 available."

NORTH KOREA

"That Kim Jong-Il has been in charge there for donkeys years; he's a bit like Dario Gradi. But you know these days there's so much managerial turnover, and as much as people knock what he's achieved there, the North Korean fans must appreciate the stability. Having said that I do find their away support a bit disappointing. Jong-Il has got them playing on the back foot a bit too much for me, and at some point he's going to have to come out fighting. There's not much value around, but I do fancy the 13/8 about 'more than 2.5' nuclear weapons dropped on Seoul. That's the closest thing I've seen to free money in geopolitics."