Saturday, September 08, 2007

Apoplectic Bloggers Demand Action

Apoplectic bloggers were last night united behind a planned 7-day strike in protest at the paucity of Charlton-related subjects capable of being satirised.

The highly organised group are all believed to be members of the famously bolshy 'Comical Reviewers And Pundits' (C.R.A.P.). Direct action by C.R.A.P. during the summer was rumoured to have been behind the initial decision to retain Marcus Bent, which has since been reversed.

"They've effectively made us redundant," barked a furious agitator, "...blogs are quite literally dying, and the club doesn't seem to care."

"We could live with the decision to get rid of Bryan Hughes, Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbaink and Dennis Rommedahl," he continued, "...but Marcus Bent and Amdy Faye....IN THE SAME WEEK? It's the final straw for us."

The members of C.R.A.P. are thought to be furious that all of Alan Pardew's summer signings are actually quite good. "I mean, have you seen that Racon fella or that Moo-too-whats-his-face? They can pass, move, tackle.... We feel alienated and violated, and we're demanding change."

A Charlton spokesperson admitted they had hoped C.R.A.P. had disbanded, having been quiet since 2003/4 when the club finished 7th in the Premiership. "Frankly they're a pain in the backside, but that's modern football for you," he agreed, "...we gave them Dowie, Reed, embarrassing Cup defeats and relegation, but still they crave more."

In the meantime, C.R.A.P. General Secretary 'New York Addick' has been forced to lay off half of his creative department, blaming a shocking decline in productivity.

"They just can't deliver in this type of environment. I mean, do you honestly think I enjoy writing about subprime bleedin' mortgages?" he boomed. "Take that Svetoslav Todorov for example....try and write something comical about him. You can't you see......well, ok he does look a bit funny but you get my drift."

Another blogger put it more succinctly, "We just want our Charlton back."

BREAKING NEWS: Lisbie set for return to The Valley.


At 9:16 AM, Blogger Pedro45 said...

"Memories of years gone by, dashed hopes and dreams that died" are what drives us bloggers on. The man may die, but his dream survives. What's the point about having a revolution if you don't shoot the bastards afterwards? Onwards and upwards we march; united together we will be victorious!

At 10:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does not the thought of yet another Cory Gibbs story provide hope for the future of CRAP, sorry C.R.A.P?

At 1:19 PM, Blogger charlton north-downs said...

Everybody now and again get writers block and in our case Bloggers block, actually I think I've always suffered from Bloggers block.

At 7:04 PM, Blogger Confidential Rick said...

Don't worry NY. The seasons got plenty of fodder yet.

At 5:33 AM, Blogger JH said...

Comical eh? I didn't realise...

Still, that explains a bit.


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