Saturday, April 26, 2008

Pardew's Press Conference Guide

A good friend of mine is a Barnsley fan, and he stumbled across this amazing piece of paper whilst walking back from Oakwell. Now I'm desperate to find versions 1 and 2:



ALAN PARDEW
POST-MATCH PRESS CONFERENCE SPEAKER NOTES
VERSION 3: DEFEAT

"Obviously I'm very disappointed with the result, but I'm pleased with the effort shown/some of the stuff we played/the way we kept on going* (*delete as appropriate)"

"It was always going to be hard today because (insert opponent's name) are fighting for their lives/in terrific form/a big strong side* (*delete as appropriate)"

[IF HOME GAME] "I thought the home fans today were a little bit subdued/obviously frustrated/needing a lift* (*delete as appropriate) and it affected the players."

[IF AWAY GAME] "The Charlton fans were terrific right from the off."

"It was a blow losing (insert recently injured player's name) during the week, and whilst (insert name of player who replaced injured player) came in and did a job, it affected the balance of the side."

"I don't mean to keep going on about injuries, but I do feel we have really missed the guile/strength/pace* (*delete as appropriate) of Todorov/Thatcher/McLeod* (*delete as appropriate)."

"If Ambrose/Varney/Iwelumo* (*delete as appropriate) had tucked away that early chance, it could have been very different but we've been done by another defensive howler/long-range effort/refereeing decision* (*delete as appropriate)"

"The referee/wind/injury/pitch* (*delete as appropriate) has done us no favours today, and it really threw our gameplan out the window."

"I thought (insert name of debutant) was our best player today, and he'll be a big influence for us next season/one day/in the future* (*delete as appropriate) but he's still got a lot to learn."

"There are clearly areas of the team that need improvement in the January window/the summer/training* (*delete as appropriate), and that's what I'll be working towards."

"We'll learn our lessons from this defeat and bounce back in time for next Tuesday/next Saturday/next season* (*delete as appropriate)."

4 Comments:

At 5:28 AM, Anonymous SLC Red said...

Why are Charlton's women? Even Arsenal have Ladies.

FA Tesco Women's Premier League
Arsenal Ladies v Blackburn Ladies, 14:00
Bristol Academy v Leeds Utd Ladies, 14:00
Charlton Women v Everton Ladies, 14:00

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger Daggs said...

NY that would be really funny if it wasn't so accurate.

SLC It's the use of the word 'ladies' that is wrong.
You never hear of Charlton's Gentlemen's team, it's always 'the men'
A 'lady' is the wife of a Lord.

 
At 5:56 AM, Anonymous SLC Red said...

Sorry - I was looking for any excuse not to comment on the game. Given that Barnsley got to the semis of the FA Cup they must be decent on their day but..c'mon, it the Championship for goodness sake (language restraint on overide). Did everybody suddenly get that much better? Where has the passion and pride from the Robinson's, Hunt's, Rufus', Kinsella's, Parker's....gone? Why does it hurt so be so damn poor?

 
At 6:51 PM, Anonymous NYA's Barnsley Supporting Mate said...

Gutted you didn't do a preview of the game. Was looking forward to an honourable mention. At least I got one in the end.

FWIW you guys played like most teams do with nothing left to play for. We needed the win and got it fairly comfortably in the end.

Jonjo Shelvey was by far the highlight in your team. I can't believe he's just turned 16. Looks a real prospect and played like he'd been in that team for years. Covered the pitch, played like he had something to prove and looked your most likely goal threat too!

Hard to judge you as a team overall as I'm sure we'd have seen more from you if you'd had something to play for. However, given that we still needed the win, I'm glad we caught you in 'pre-season friendly' mode!

See you next season.

 

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