Parkinson's Last Resort

Charlton's disastrous season took an extraordinary twist last night.

Manager Phil Parkinson has been given authority to begin printing more points, in a process known as quantitative easing.

It was hoped that this unprecedented step may be enough to prevent Charlton's season lapsing into depression.

"It's risky, but it just might work," admitted an unnamed Board member, "...our biggest fear is that other clubs notice, and begin printing points themselves."

That would of course lead to severe inflation, a situation common in the Zimbabwean leagues for example, where over ten million points are typically needed just to secure a play-off berth.

It is believed that Parkinson will be allowed to begin the process, in time for the vital clash against fellow strugglers Watford.

"It's a real relegation eight-pointer," he acknowledged.