Heater Signs on Loan

(left) Heater: "..really fired up."

Charlton today confirmed they have borrowed an outdoor heater on a one-month’s emergency loan from Spanish club, Osasuna.

The heater will go straight into the squad preparing the pitch for Saturday’s vital home game with Nottingham Forest.

”I’m delighted we’ve managed to bring it into the club,” cooed Addicks boss Phil Parkinson, ”…I’ll be asking it to heat the centre circle, as I just didn’t feel we had enough cover in that particular area.”

With temperatures rarely falling below freezing in Northern Spain, chances have been limited for the young heater, and it was only too pleased to make the move to South-East London.

”It’s been a frustrating time to be honest,” it said, speaking through an interpreter, “…some heaters are comfortable just resting in the shed, but all I’ve ever wanted to do is get out on the pitch, and test myself at the coldest level."

“As soon as I met the gaffer and the other heaters, I couldn’t wait to get started. I’m really fired up.”

Parkinson acknowledged that some foreign heaters have struggled to perform in England, but was confident the conversion would be a smooth one.

“It’s used to 220 volts so we’re not anticipating any problems there,” he mused, “…but I’d like to thank the electrician who worked around the clock to get it fitted with a three-point plug.”

The deal was unlikely to be made permanent however, with temperatures forecast to rise by the middle of next week.

”It’s no secret the club’s finances are stretched so we’ll have to see,” Parkinson admitted, “…and anyhow, we should have that dodgy other heater back that we lent to Grays Athletic.”