Email exchange

The CAFC email server has been close to breaking point in the past couple of hours.

Luckily despite new owners, the password remains 'IHATESIMONJORDAN' for now so I was able to sneak a look at this evening's traffic:



From: parky@cafc.co.uk
To: arry@spurs.co.uk
Subject: RE: Record score

I believe it was Arbroath 36, Bon Accord 0.

Why are you asking?

ps - any chance of a sneak preview of your team selection? LOL!

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From: slater@cafc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Cc: reg.varney@cafc.co.uk
Subject: Terrific win!

Phil

I just wanted to be the first to congratulate you on a terrific win. We looked sharp and hungry - I could not have asked for any more.

See you as planned tomorrow at 9am.

Michael

ps - nice of you to let Swindon wear their home kit. Was there a clash?

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From: reg.varney@cafc.co.uk
To: slater@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Terrific win!

I think we need to chat. Call me on my mobile. Leaving soon.

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From: arry@spurs.co.uk
To: FIRST TEAM-ALL@spurs.co.uk
Cc: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: FA Cup

Lads

I'm giving you all the weekend off.

But remember....no nightclubs, no birds, no booze and no driving above the speed limit.

Arry

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From: arry@spurs.co.uk
To: YOUTH TEAM-ALL@spurs.co.uk
Cc: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: FA Cup

Please report to White Hart Lane players entrance at 11.30am, Sunday. Bring your boots.

Arry

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From: jimenez@cafc.co.uk
To: slater@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: WTF?

OF COURSE THERE'S NO WAY OUT NOW!

HE'S DONE US UP LIKE A KIPPER HASN'T HE?

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From: slater@cafc.co.uk
To: gus.poyet@brighton&ha.co.uk
Subject: Lunch?

I've got a meeting first thing.

Maybe a bite to eat after training? I'll book that tapas place you like.

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From: reg.varney@cafc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Benson clause

Yes, we have to pay another £50k if he scores 20 goals.

Probably not worth worrying about for the timebeing. Select the team as you see fit.

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From: slater@cafc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: Youga

Sorry Phil, it was a little insensitive.

I was merely wondering how good this Youga fella was.

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From: therry.racon@cafc.co.uk
To: madame.racon@hotmail.fr
Subject: Semedo

Je suis malade comme un parrot.

Semedo ne peut pas pass.
Semedo ne peut pas run.
Semedo ne peut pas faire anything.

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From: slater@cafc.co.uk
To: jimenez@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: RE: WTF?

Don't blame me TJ - you're the football fixer remember. I thought you'd watched the DVDs?

ps - is the curly-haired lad at the back related to the guy who used to play for West Ham, Rangers and Scotland?

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From: slater@cafc.co.uk
To: loadsamoney@swiss-mail.ch
Cc: jimenez@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Score update

Don't worry, everything's cushty. These things happen in football.

ps - in the spreadsheet I sent yesterday titled 'Budget 2011.xls', please change the figure in cell C35 (Projected Deficit) to -£9m from -£5m. Cheers.

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From: jimenez@cafc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: January window

When I asked you for a shopping list, I was rather hoping I might be able to queue at the ten items or less counter.

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From: madame.racon@hotmail.fr
To: therry.racon@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Semedo

Qu'est-ce que c'est 'give and go'?

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From: keano@ipswichtown.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Lee Martin

You're welcome to keep him, to be sure to be sure.

ps - does he still do that funny shuffle with the ball at his feet? Straight out of Riverdance that is.

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From: jimenez@cafc.co.uk
To: slater@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: WTF?

They only sent me Peterborough away.

Recording problems apparently.

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From: murray@cafc.co.uk
To: IT-HELPDESK@cafc.co.uk
Subject: FW: Mailer Daemon Failure Notice

I've not been able to send an email since 7pm. Can you check the server?

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From: avram.grant@whufc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Matthew Fry

Shalom Phil!

Sorry but you've done enough damage already. Such chutzpah!

Give him directions to Millwall thanks. Tell him to report to Mr Jackett.

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From: simon.francis@cafc.co.uk
To: johnnie.jackson@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Bale/Lennon

When you say 'really quick', can you give a bit more detail?

You know how nervous I get.

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From: jimenez@cafc.co.uk
To: slater@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Ideas

Paul Peschisolido....erm, that's about it to be honest.

Are funds that tight that we can't even afford a new manager's jacket?

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From: jonjo.shelvey@lfc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: Update

"What is good to see is that a young player we have invested money in is proving to be worth his money and is proving to be the future prospect we think he is."

Not my words, but those of Mr Roy Hodgson, first team manager (Liverpool FC).

ps - don't tell me your result, I've got it taped on Sky+

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From: simon.francis@cafc.co.uk
To: johnnie.jackson@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Bale/Lennon

YOU'VE REALLY BECOME AN ARROGANT SOD SINCE YOU STARTED SCORING.

OF COURSE I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'ON THE INSIDE' AND 'ON THE OUTSIDE'.

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From: pards@nufc.co.uk
To: parky@cafc.co.uk
Subject: RE: Emotional reunion

To be honest Phil, I think we were more Morecambe & Wise than Clough & Taylor.

Will give it some thought. It's cold up here you know?