These are certainly interesting times for the Addicks; six wins in eight have given us a chance of gaining top spot by 3pm on Saturday. In order to get a better feel for the current morale within the club, I once again hacked into Charlton's email server. Here's a selection of what I found:From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Great win last night.
Any chance we could win a home game? Those ‘half-price season tickets’ aren’t exactly flying off the shelves.From: email@example.com
Subject: Re: Cardiff
Three points is three points. YOU tell the travelling Charlton fans that we’re inconsistent.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Re: Re: Cardiff
Yeah, I’ll be sure to tell Doris, Roger and our other 37 loyal fans.
Have you seen the state of them? Some of them haven’t even sat on chairs before.From: email@example.com
Subject: Team selection
Just to reiterate gaffer….I’m fit, ready and VERY able.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: FW: Team selection
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I ASKED YOU TO BLOCK ALL EMAILS FROM THIS ADDRESS?From: email@example.com
Subject: Ipswich arrangements, Dec 8
We’re going to treat this one like an away game.
Meet up at 2pm Friday, Thurrock Services.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: FW: Ipswich arrangements, Dec 8
Struggling to make it a large one on Friday. Might have to feign an injury.From: email@example.com
当然要接受人民群众的监督4依法纳税作为一 (Holland) 国公民是有依法纳税的义务的，赋税是喂养政府的娘奶。From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Preston vs Charlton
Dear Mr Varney
We are writing to complain about the behaviour of some of our supporters at Preston.
My husband Roger and I have been traveling to away games since 1949 (even though he has chronic arthritis).
Unfortunately some of our fellow so-called ‘supporters’ found it acceptable to stand up after Zheng Zhi scored our opening goal and for fully thirty seconds afterwards
In the melee that ensued, Roger dropped his tartan blanket and a slice of my homemade fruitcake (which he loves).
Is it possible to find out who these hooligans were and have them banned?
Ps – could you arrange for a signed photograph of Matt Holland? He's my favourite player.From: email@example.com
Re: Preston vs Charlton
Dear Mr Varney
On behalf of my police force, may I just congratulate your club on the wonderful way your supporters behaved at Deepdale on Nov 24th.
We are so used to the way visiting supporters abuse stewards and home supporters alike, that we had forgotten that some genuine and decent fans like yours still existed.
I would be grateful if you would pass on our thanks via your matchday programme, and we wish you well for the remainder of the season.
Chief Superintendent Jackson
Lancashire ConstabularyFrom: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Fri Dec 7, 3pm
Sorry for the short notice, but I am going to have to cancel my hair appointment for this Friday.
Going forward, it may be best to change my fortnightly appointment to a Thursday.From: email@example.com
Subject: Goal machine
Not sure if you’ve heard, but that’s ten goals for me at the Gills now.
How’s Izale McLeod settling in? Please reassure him that all strikers go through dry spells (except me it seems…..LOL!)From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Global warming
As a caring community football club, it’s vital that we’re seen to do everything we can to reduce our carbon footprint.
I’m doing my bit…..from next Saturday all Valley Express buses will be fuelled by ethanol.
Have a think about what YOU could all do to reduce your impact on the environment.From: email@example.com
Subject: FW: Global warming
What’s he on about?From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Re: FW: Global warming
I guess we won't be signing Matt Carbon from MK Dons then!
That's a relief.From: email@example.com
Subject: Ipswich tactics
As you are probably aware, I’m one of the best paid managers in the Championship (if not the best paid). Hence I bear a heavy responsibility for ensuring that our tactics are novel, effective and open to change.
Thus, in order to turn around our poor home form I am proposing a revolutionary new tactic which may initially be confusing, but which ultimately will deliver results:
I’M SWITCHING AROUND DARREN AMBROSE AND ANDY REID.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: FW: Ipswich tactics
Genius. We’re lucky to have him.From: email@example.com
Subject: Re: FW:Ipswich tactics
A true visionary.
We were rather hoping we'd get that sort of thing from Dowie.From: loans@alliance&leicester.co.ukTo: firstname.lastname@example.orgRe: Mortgage application-------
Your application for a mortgage is REJECTED.
As you know, credit standards are being tightened. It was felt that your future employment at current income levels could not be guaranteed.
Loans DepartmentFrom: email@example.com
I just wanted to say sorry for what I said to you yesterday at the clinic.
It’s been a frustrating time for us both and if the truth be told, I think we’ve probably been seeing a bit too much of each other for our own good. A ‘cooling off’ period might make some sense.
Ps – I honestly don’t think all Americans are stupid. Look at Gore Vidal for example.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: FW: Ipswich tactics
I’m worried about all the responsibility to be honest; at least on the wing I can hide a bit more.
You know what the Charlton fans are like….if I haven’t scored within the first five minutes, they’ll be booing me!From: email@example.com
Subject: Re: FW: Ipswich tactics
Darling, you know you’re good enough to perform at this level (though to be fair, I said that about the Premiership too).
Just have some confidence and remember what Mr Souness told you at Newcastle, “..if you knuckle down, you could be as good as Hugo Viana
To: firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Xmas Party
Although none of you are in my current or future first team plans, I just want to let you know that you’re all very welcome to attend the 2007 Xmas Party (featuring Chris Powell as Santa Claus!).
Details to follow.From: email@example.com
Subject: FW: Xmas Party
Chris Powell as Santa Claus. There’s an effin’ surprise.
The only thing he’ll be giving away this Xmas is goals.
Ps – hope you clear your name by the way, mate. A word of advice from Benty: just collect signing-on fees instead….they’re like legalised bungs! I’ve had ten already and I’m only 29!From: firstname.lastname@example.org
To: email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: January transfer window
Hi guys – further to our discussion on Monday, are you any closer to finalising the budget for the January transfer window?
A commanding centre-half is at the very top of my shopping list.From: email@example.com
Subject: FW: January transfer window
Do you want to break it to him or shall I?
Our balance sheet resembles the black hole of Calcutta.
ps - what's wrong with Paddy McCarthy? It was his flipping idea.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Archbishop has been giving me rave reviews of your performances. We could do with someone someone who’s comfortable with crosses (geddit?).
Fancy a trial? After all we gave Andy Hunt another go.From: 民,应具备@baidu.com
Subject: Re: 政府的
作领导小组的 政府工作报告From: email@example.com
Subject: FW: Goal machine
Make that 11 goals….LOL!Sent from my Blackberry wireless handheld.
Subject: Re: Re: FW: Ipswich tactics
What do you think about that eh? (I nearly missed the header to be honest)
Better go now, Pards is about to give his half-time teamtalk.
Ps – Reidy looks gutted!Sent from my Blackberry wireless handheld.From: firstname.lastname@example.org
Can you check the server? I’m not sure I’m receiving all my emails.